“This must mean that some sort of dignitaries are visiting or an important campus anniversary is being celebrated,” said freshman Ainsley Tomaselli while scanning Today@Brown to find the upcoming event. “But most importantly, it means that I can pop in, grab some bruschetta and a plate of potato puffs, and sneak away.”

“I even saw them setting up several small circular tables,” Tomaselli said, confident that the sizeable tent was an indicator of pigs in a blanket, crostini, and other delicious canapés. “That likely portends an upcoming abundance of light refreshments.”

“It also seems likely that there will be a huge shortage of assorted sliders, alongside an extreme excess of mustard!”

At press time, a guest speaker’s arrival on campus spelled high chances for cardboard boxes full of coffee.