“At first I thought the dance-fighting was supposed to be symbolic,” explained audience member Harry Lin as the actors gestured painedly toward one another from a safe distance. “Then I realized that the choreographer just had no idea that when people fight, they make contact with one another.”

“This is just uncomfortable,” Lin said as a group of actors snapped their fingers angrily at a character writhing on the ground. “What am I watching?”

At press time, the performance’s lead actor had clearly never heard a Southern accent before.