Toledo Blasts Off, Returns to Home Planet

Published Friday, November 4th, 2011
Filed under Campus Life

“Our work here is done,” claimed Earthman as he scratched his scaly gray tendrils with some form of cooling laser. Earthman, which is definitely a fake alien name, then served a straggler who evidently was in the bathroom when the restaurant took off. The terrified stowaway purchased a “Meat Cone,” which inexplicably still cost seven earth dollars, despite the complete uselessness of earth dollars in space.