“With every passing day, we in the White House are bringing America another step closer to the herd immunity we so badly need — one staffer at a time,” the statement read, commending West Wing staff and presidential advisors for taking on the thankless task of having coronavirus. “If the rest of country can follow the example our administration has so bravely set by tackling this virus head-on, we’ll finally be able to put an end to this pandemic.”

The press release went on to heap praise on President Trump, who fearlessly led the charge toward herd immunity by facing the virus himself and compelling his staff to do the same.

“The President personally fought the coronavirus and won, setting our administration’s COVID strategy from the top-down,” the statement continued, lauding the commander-in-chief’s hands-on and masks-off approach to battling COVID-19. “Thanks to President Trump’s decisive leadership and strategic infection, dozens of officials inside and outside our administration have begun doing their part to get this virus out of control.”

The statement concluded by attacking Democrats for not getting nearly enough COVID infections.