“Our newest investment in border security is the best use of taxpayer dollars—and Mom’s credit card—to keep Americans safe,” said border czar Tom Homan while observing a vast stretch of border wall that was Level 3, at best. “History has proven time and time again that a strong enough wall cannot be bypassed under any circumstances.”

“These plans to upgrade our border wall are a part of Clan Leader Trump’s bold national defense platform,” added Homan, failing to note that the United States already spends more gold on upgrades for Cannons, X-Bows, and Inferno Towers than the next nine clans combined. “It sure is great to have a leader in charge that understands the real threats facing everyday Americans.”

“Henceforth, Americans can sleep soundly knowing that their country’s precious resources—its Elixir Collectors, Gem Mines, and Spell Factories—will be safe from foreign plundering,” continued Homan while mapping the optimal location for a Hidden Tesla Coil to counter assaults from enemy Lava Hounds and Hog Riders. “By protecting our resources now, we give our children a future where they can use those resources to do incredible things. Maybe someday they’ll even upgrade this border wall to Level 18!”

At press time, the Trump administration added that it would be relocating the US Town Hall to Mar-a-Lago.