“It is honestly so frustrating,” said Nosbum as she tried to sync up the movement of her ears and knees while walking so as not to yank off her ear lobes. “I’ve got to stop wearing these at the same time, it’s ridiculous. It was like last week when I decided to wear my chain mail tank top with my magnetic daytime gloves. It was so inconvenient. I’m always doing it by accident, I’m such a klutz. The other day I wore my pants made of sand with my shirt that’s filled with water. Before I knew it, I was pantsless!”

At press time, Nosbum’s roommate kept getting ash from her corn cob pipe all over her Charmeuse silk smoking jacket.