“The first of May may be the first day on which vaccines go forth, but only thirty thousand will be forthcoming at first,” said Biden in his address. “The first vaccines will be seconded by a shipment on the third, a third shipment on the fourth, and a forthcoming fourth coming the thirty-first.”

“First and foremost, the first four most at-risk groups should march forth to their local CVS before the thirty-first of April,” said Biden augustly on March 12. “First, first responders. Second, third-trimester pregnant women. Third, eighth grade teachers. Fourth, fifth-year medical students. Look, if this is a football game, it’s fourth and ten in the third quarter. Got it?”

At press time, Biden was asking Americans to stay six feet apart in groups of less than ten on July Fourth.