As diplomacy has largely failed across the country to which he is assigned and minor social tiffs have turned into deadly skirmishes, Silverstone has found it increasingly hard to decline to throw in his lot with one side or another.

“It’s a difficult thing. You look at major civil unrest like this and it’s hard not to lose control of yourself and get swept away,” Silverstone said. “I just know that I could prove an asset to whichever side I committed myself to—be it insurgency or counterinsurgency.”

The journalist is growing more and more itchy in his removed, third-party position and would so much rather throw off his tape recorder, put aside his notepad, and join the ruckus. Having reported on various wars, battles, and coups across the globe, but never having experienced one himself, Silverstone cannot help but wonder what it is to pit oneself against other men in deadly contest.

“I know that I have a duty to myself and my family and the magazine for which I work. That said, it is so incredibly challenging for me to sit idly by as this sort of thing continues to happen right in front of my face,” he said.

Silverstone is currently biting his knuckles as he eyes an abandoned assault rifle, weighing whether or not the risk and thrill are worth the cost of both his personal and professional lives.