Is anyone willing to explain sex to me? No one? It’s okay. I, too, find myself struggling to define sex. I think we are all fully aware that it has to do with a man and a woman loving each other very much, but I think we need to delve into more specific details of the act in order to understand what it’s truly about. Emphasis on the specific details.

It’s such an amorphous word, you know? Let’s go through what sex is not, and maybe that will bring us closer to our answer. Sex isn’t holding hands or sharing a juice box. I was under the impression that sex included a stork, but apparently not. Judging by Jenny Foster’s reaction last Friday night when I said that I wanted to “make the sex” to her, sex also happens only during the most opportune of occasions. But we all already knew that, am I right?

Also, why do we have to cover sex in euphemisms and double entendres? It only makes things more confusing. Why would I want to “bang” someone? That sounds abusive. Getting “laid” only reinforces that stork-egg myth. Also, is it “fuck” or “fork”? I feel like I hear both equally, but I don’t think it’s both.

My point is that, for this argument, only when we define sex will I be able to understand what sex truly is.