“When we first walked up to the table, I thought I’d start the conversation on a simple note, maybe touching on the political state of Rwanda or the economy of Albania,” stated Stadler while reading from a print copy of The Economist. “But then Notravskada starts talking about how all of that was pedantic and quaint, and that maybe the conversation would be more interesting if we were to delve deeper into the conflict between Sepurnugon-X and Vilfia.”

“I wanted to impress him by ordering the most sophisticated bottle of wine on the menu, but he just told me the taste would be too uninspiring,” divulged Stadler, recalling how Notravskada pulled out a 4,300-year-old bottle of wine from his briefcase. “Notravskada made me feel inadequate—like all my standard topics of conversation were fatuous and jejune. It was utterly humiliating.”

At press time, a multiversely man was seen walking up to Stadler and Notravskada’s table.