In what Norris himself described as yet another "roundhouse kick straight to the face of libel and slander," the legendary actor and skilled martial artist has decided to sue the Noser two weeks before we even came up with this headline.

When asked to predict the outcome of the case, Norris's lawyers issued the following statement: "As we all know from the Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator, 'Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.' The man just got a little bored. What else is a washed-up action hero supposed to do with his time? Governor's just not Chuck's style."

In an attempt to clarify this statement, the lawyers added, "Did we say washed-up? What we really meant was. Oh, sweet Jesus. Oh, dear God. What have we done?"

Norris's lawyers were physically unable to comment further.