The FDA wants to limit the availability of Magnum V until it can be conclusively shown that the beverage has no serious long-term health consequences, according to Elena Marathe, director of the FDA's Division of Product Evaluation.

"We're not condoning drunkenness," Marathe said. "Alcohol on its own is bad enough. But compounded with the deleterious effects of shooting oneself in the face with a gun, it becomes a whole different monster."

Tests showed that after drinking just one can of Magnum V, subjects experienced impaired judgment, reduced motor capacity, and immediate, permanent loss of consciousness.

Magnum V's novelty and efficiency make it popular on college campuses, where partygoers hail it as a shortcut to incapacitating inebriation.

"They say all you need is one can. One can of Magnum V is all you need to get fucked the fuck up," said Harrison Asher '13, who plans on trying the drink for the first time tonight.

Magnum V earned the highest praise from Asher's friend, Alex Belleva '13, who was unavailable for comment because, according to Asher, he was "still in bed sleeping off the hangover from that crazy bender he had a few weeks ago."

However, parents remain skeptical in light of the FDA announcement.

"I'm not a prude. I know college is a time for self discovery, drinking alcohol and coffee and all that," said Valerie Belleva P '13. "But honestly, we should either ask teenagers to drink responsibly or we should ask them to shoot themselves in the face responsibly. Asking them to do both is too much for our kids to handle all at once."

The FDA expects to release the final results of its investigation in February. Yet Marathe said she expects market forces may reduce Magnum V's popularity by that time anyway.