“Do I want to sing with nineteen other guys in sport coats and ties or with nineteen other guys in vests and ties?” said Cory, adding that the groups could not be more different. “And do I want to set up a table outside of Salamon and sell tickets with the Chattertocks or set up a table outside Faunce and sing with the Brown’sTones to sell tickets? It’s an impossible decision.”

Sources close to Cory report that he can’t decide whether he wants to pull a girl out of the crowd and dance with her like the Derbies do or point at a girl and sing to her like the Jabberwocks do.

“The stakes are so high," Cory explained. “If I’m with the Jabberwocks, I get to clap and wave my hands a lot. But if I’m with the Derbies, I’ll get to stomp while I sing. This decision will completely define my time at Brown.”

“And my time slot for the arch sings would be completely different," Cory added.

“During Spring Break," continued Cory, “I’d take a trip around the Northeast either way. But we’d take different routes. Just like at the end of the year; I’ll play the same game of kickball but this decision determines what house I’ll pregame at. That’s huge.”

At press time, Corey didn’t get into the Jabberwocks.