This past Thursday, sources have indicated that a local camel’s back was completely obliterated by a real monster of a straw.
“The second I saw that thing, I knew my camel was toast,” said Alex Simmons, a local camel owner who was preparing to store as many straws on his camel’s back as he could, one by one. “When that fucking massive straw came down, I knew it was going to be bad. I swear, it was like one of those hydraulic press videos.”
“I never would’ve expected that a single straw—even a straw as huge as that one—would be so destructive. But lo and behold, that straw utterly ravaged that camel’s back,” said Otis Jameson, a bystander who watched what was, by all accounts, a pretty gruesome crushing. “I guess this was just a situation where a small change caused a large reaction as a result of many cumulative prior actions.”
At press time, a local rich man was relieved to be able to fit his camel through the eye of a gargantuan needle.