A New York Post report released last summer found that 60 percent of Brown students aren’t gay, thank god.
“According to our survey of Brown students, 60 percent are, in fact, heterosexual,” the report detailed. “Ultimately, after a critical analysis of the collected data, we concluded that over half of the student body is straight, hell yeah.”
According to the report, the remaining 40 percent of students are unfortunately big homos.