Partly Cloudy, 64°
Cringing in anticipation of an accident, local man Jeremy Rollins was once again surprised when his bus was able to successfully make a turn this Thursday morning. “Whoa, seemed like we weren’t gonna make it there for a second," said Rollins. “Definitely expected to die in a terrible bus accident, but, as usual, the bus somehow made it. Pretty amazing.” Despite witnessing this phenomenon daily, Rollins reported that every time the bus makes a turn he is convinced it is going to crash into several cars, or a street lamp, or a building, because that’s what would make sense considering its massive and unwieldy size. “Uh oh. This one’s gonna be bad,” Rollins said minutes later at the following intersection. “Nope. All good.” At press time, Rollins had just died during a fiery bus accident.
