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In his annual Easter address in Manning Chapel, Brown’s Chaplain Fr. Justin declared that the appropriate way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ is to blaze all day and smoke that J.
“Dear brothers and sisters, let us honor this holy day by rolling one for your neighbor as you would roll one for yourself,” said Fr. Justin, reaching a cup into the holy water font and pouring it into his bong. “For the Kingdom of Heaven is nigh, especially as we get high!”
“Just as we consume the body and blood of Christ, so too must we inhale His spirit,” continued Fr. Justin, exhaling a perfect smoke ring in the shape of a cross. “In these trying times, let us remember: Enlightenment begins with lighting up.”
“As the joy of His resurrection fills every corner of the Earth, so too shall the fumes of dank permeate over our hearts,” added Fr. Justin, shoveling fistfuls of communion wafers into his mouth. “In the name of the Father, the Sativa, and the Holy Reefer, peace be with you… and your plug.”
At press time, the Easter Bunny admitted he may have mixed up the batches of chocolates after the children began debating whether rabbits even exist in the first place.
