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According to a local wife, her husband with huge hips should really be the one doing the birthing.
“Jack’s always doing squats and lunges, but he doesn’t even need it, what’s he doing with those hips?” lamented Erika Birdie, who was two months pregnant with their first child. “And he somehow still has a size 28 waist! How is that possible?”
“Jack also has a crazy high pain tolerance,” continued Birdie as she looked at an ultrasound showing two fetuses. “Did I mention that he was an Olympic gymnast in college? He would be so much better at this whole giving birth thing than me.”
“The other thing that gets on my nerves is the crazy husband cravings he’s been having, always asking me to buy pickles for him,” cried Birdie, who was only getting a month of maternity leave compared to Jack’s full year of paid paternity leave. “Yesterday I had to give him a back massage because he was feeling nervous about the baby.”
At press time, uptight grandma really ought to be the one smoking weed.
