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Sources report that Brian Henderson of Cranston, RI, whose Tinder bio reads, “not looking for a relationship,” was not, in fact, being considered as a top relationship prospect by any women within a 7-mile radius.
According to Henderson, the motivation behind his current bio was concern for the feelings of potential matches. “I felt like I should put that warning out there before any girls could get all clingy,” said Henderson, whose list of current matches consists almost entirely of bots. “Better be up front about what I want, you know?”
Many women cited appearance as the major determinant in their decision to swipe left on Henderson, then proceed to never imagine being in a relationship with him. “I knew from basically one glance that I wasn’t into any guy whose photo is of him stroking a gun in an open field,” said Karen Lewis of East Providence.
“I’m definitely open to hooking up with hot women!” Henderson told sources, despite the fact that he has never received a message from a real woman on the app. “I just don’t want to be tied down right now.”
Other women who encountered Henderson on Tinder contend that his bio had little to no bearing on whether or not they imagined themselves floating down the aisle toward him. “I would say knowing that Henderson wasn’t into relationships didn’t significantly affect the way I decided to swipe on him,” said Anna Smith of California. “I honestly made up my mind long before I saw that he doesn’t think he’s in a place right now to enter a serious relationship with me.”
At press time, Brian had just uploaded a new photo of himself holding a big old fish.
