Partly Cloudy, 64°
Haunted by the horror of the September 11 attacks, a local man with obsessive-compulsive disorder revealed that the second plane crash offered him a sense of closure.
“What a tragic, tragic event,” said Jacob Moore, referring to both towers being hit but also specifically the first one. “I mean, both are really sad—but the first one. I mean, wow. It’s just cruel what they did.”
“At least it’s done now. I mean, two is an even number. It gives me some closure, you know,” continued Moore as he walked down the sidewalk, avoiding the cracks at all cost. “There were so many lives lost that day. 2,996. Even number. Nice number. But also terrible. Wow. Genuinely gross and disgusting. But also, imagine if it was 2,993 or something. Now that’s a major, major yikes. Now, imagine it being 3,000. Sad, right? But also, it’s goo—actually never mind.”
At press time, a man seeing double admitted that the fourth plane crash felt a bit excessive.
