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In his official announcement of retirement following a prestigious 14-year career, esteemed Provost Henry Richardson admitted to having absolutely no clue as to what a provost actually does.
“While it has truly been an honor to work at a university as prestigious as Brown, I must admit I still do not have the slightest idea of what a provost is supposed to be doing,” Richardson wrote in his farewell address, clearly surprised he had made it so far with no insight into what purpose his job served. “I think it must be something administrative. I’m not entirely certain because there were a lot of long emails involved. I wasn’t a Dean though. I’m pretty sure that’s completely different.”
Richardson, who in some manner acquired the position in 2001, was never once informed throughout his tenure of what the career actually entailed.
“I figured after a year or two I would have been able to at least get the basic concept down, or maybe somebody would let me know if I was doing what I was hired to do. You’d think after 10 or so years of showing up, sending emails, and signing things I’d have figured it out, but no luck. In all honesty, I’m not even sure I’ve been pronouncing ‘provost’ correctly.”
Following over a decade of rigorous and confusing provost duties, Richardson felt it was time to move on, though he hoped to continue his ambiguous work elsewhere.
“As I think many of you know, I’ve been hired as the Vice Chancellor of Williams College, which I assume is a standard career progression,” said Richardson. “I will make sure to use the knowledge I have gained from my time here to fulfill whatever that job requires of me. I hope only that my work at Brown, whatever that may have been, will be appreciated long after I’ve left.”
Richardson was much beloved by whichever students or faculty presumably interacted with him, and it’s likely that the supposedly important position he leaves will be difficult to fill. The University has already begun the search for a qualified interim candidate who has at least a reasonable guess as to what a provost does.
