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Sources report that the reimbursement request you put in for your club’s pizza party will not be approved, fatty.
“Thank you for submitting a reimbursement request!” read an email sent to you by your SAO advisor, who has already declined the past two requests. “Unfortunately, pizza parties for fatties like you are not approved by the Student Activities Office. Maybe try a salad party instead?”
“We are committed to supporting our beloved student groups here on campus so we can build an inclusive environment,” continued the email before asking your club to take a hard look in the mirror. “However, we cannot get over the fact that you literal fatties really thought we would pay for your two pizzas. Here, how about you buy your club some nice little almonds instead?”
At press time, SAO did not approve the catering for an SAO workshop full of fatties.
