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The Brown Noser

Student Takes Awkward Collar Pull Too Far

By ANONYMOUS
Published Friday, December 1st, 2006

After making a bad joke involving two priests and an alpaca, student Mike Finley '08, in an attempt to save the joke, tugged at his collar in the spirit of struggling stand-up comedians. Finley, however, took the pull too far, tearing off the entire garment.

""It was really weird. We're used to Mike making bad jokes. We're even used to him giving himself some air by doing the collar pull. It usually gets some giggles. But when this happened, it was shock all around,"" said Finley's friend Samantha Berenson '08.

The result of the incident was not only a ripped shirt, but also, more importantly for Mike Finley, a destroyed morale. Finley has yet to attempt another joke, friends say, mainly because he's thinking up novel ways to save himself that don't involve damaging clothing.

""It was scary,"" said Finley. ""The whole situation was extremely embarrassing. I don't know what went wrong. That move usually works really well. It's alright though because I'm thinking of putting a lawsuit against Fruit of the Loom into the works.""

Fruit of the Loom had nothing to say on the issue. However, one legal analyst notes that the shirt packaging firmly states that ""harder than normal pulls may rip shirt.""

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