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The Brown Noser

Student Unknowingly Protesting Future Employer

Published Friday, April 25th, 2014

Andrew Friedman ’15 was recently seen protesting the multibillion-dollar conglomerate that he will someday call his employer. The demonstration was held to speak out against the egregious violations of human rights, environmental standards, and federal trade regulations routinely committed by the company that Friedman will soon commute to five days a week without a second thought. “It’s disgusting that people would walk away from what’s right just for a comfy life,” said Friedman, righteously hoisting a sign featuring a red “X” over the face of his future boss.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing after college,” admitted Friedman, unaware that a combination of mounting debt and a smooth-talking finance recruiter would soon factor into his life choices. “But whatever I do, I know it won’t just be for the money. That I am sure of."

When reached for further comment, the bright-eyed, unencumbered youth was seen hurriedly shoving an intern pamphlet into his backpack.

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