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Sources report that the television series “The Sex Lives Of College Girls” is a remarkably accurate depiction of elite New England colleges, aside from the whole sex lives part.
“It’s crazy — it’s like watching my life play out on screen,” stated sophomore Campbell Reed, who certainly has not encountered the same type of men on Brown’s campus that Kimberly Finkle has been hooking up with throughout the show. “Like, I live in a dorm with my friends, eat in the dining halls, go to classes, and I was even once caught cheating on an econ exam. And one of my closest friends plays soccer, just like Whitney!”
“Mindy Kaling absolutely crushed it because the authenticity of the show is just unmatched, it’s chef’s kiss,” continued Reed, who hasn’t slept with anyone since high school prom night because the prospects of attractive guys on campus are virtually nonexistent. “I definitely align most with Bela because, well, we’re both sex-positive icons, but I really do see parts of myself in all of these girls and their experiences at Essex College. I swear, I’m shocked every episode that this show isn’t a documentary!”
At press time, Reed should pull a Leighton Murray and transfer because she could definitely do better elsewhere.
