Partly Cloudy, 64°
Jamie Graham '13 has consistently tried to impress others by mentioning that he goes to a prestigious New England college. But Graham received a nasty shock when he arrived on college only to find that not a single student was impressed that he went to Brown.
Graham, a native of Ewing, New Jersey had the good fortune to be accepted into the University through early decision this past December. He then proceeded to rub it in his classmate's faces for the next six months. Graham was seen wearing his one Brown University sweatshirt every day after December 15th.
"Oh yeah, I told everyone," said Jamie. "Sometimes, I would do it nonchalantly, like 'Oh yeah, I'm going to Brown in the fall. Not a big deal. Other times, I would do it apologetically, like, 'Oh yeah, I'm going to Brown. Didn't you know? Sorry.'"
Graham has also covered the back of his car in Brown bumper stickers and rear window decals.
Jamie Graham has very few friends from high school.
Jamie insists it's jealousy. "When you are as great as I am, to go to Brown, people tend to ignore you. It's what I get for being a genius. Yes, I would wear my one Brown Sweatshirt every day. So what if it was mid-July? I'm going to Brown."
Added Graham, "Brown. University? Maybe you've heard of it?" He then casually took out his keys on a Brown key chain and swung them around his finger.
However, since arriving on campus, Graham has found a lackluster response to his boasts.
"I was walking with some other freshmen during orientation, and I was casually like 'Boy, I sure am excited for classes here at Brown!' but all I got was blank stares." Graham recalled. "It's like they weren't even impressed. And it's kind of a big deal."
Jamie Graham has even fewer friends in college.
"I wanted to hit on this sophomore, so I told her, kind of casually, that I'm a Brown student. She didn't even blink. Like, hello? Maybe she hasn't heard of it," Graham said thoughtfully.
Nicolas Kerz '13, who lives with Graham in West Andrews, said, "Oh, Jamie? He's cool enough, but it seems like he's trying too hard to convince us he actually goes here. A lot of people think he's somebody's pathetic younger brother or something."
Matthew Jolentz '13, overhearing Kerz's comment, said, "Yeah. Not just anybody can into Brown, you know."
Added Jolentz, "Seriously, I don't know if you've heard of it, but Brown is actually a pretty big deal."
