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The owners of the quaint, mom-and-pop-run Créperie on Thayer Street were shocked by the latest bouts of bad luck following the vandalism of their establishment by local hoodlums in early February.
"Those damn kids stole the 'C' in our sign, broke into my restaurant, and took 40 pounds of crépes. From that point on, we ain't had many customers," says Kenneth Magee, the 72-year-old manager of the breakfast spot. "I just don't get it. The people of Providence usually band together to help the victims in situations like this, but since the robbery, we ain't seen a single regular nor respectable customer... we've been avoided like the
plague."
While Magee shakes his cane at the thought of shutting down the Créperie, many Providence citizens recall the heyday of the Kennedy Plaza McDonald's, which experienced its own run-in with hooliganism in 1988. Local ruffians rearranged the sign to spell out "McGonad's," something the owners did not realize until it was too late. A McDonald's hasn't been able to show its face near College Hill since.
In the meantime, a new customer base has arrived at the Créperie, keeping the business asthmatic, but still breathing. They call themselves "neo-hobos," and their presence has left a mark on Providence.
"The new clientele bring a refreshing, exciting dynamic to the Créperie," says Sheri Pahntz, the restaurant's smoothie maker. "The trucker hat, dirty-fingered, worn overcoat look is back in style, and the fact that our customers are on the edge of fashion greatly reflects upon our success. The Créperie has big plans of having that authentic, starving-artist-eating-crépes-on-the-streets-of-Paris feel, and these neo-hobos are just what it needs to pick up sales. Also, there's the whole 'truth in advertising' angle: if you get a strawberry-chocolate Michelle, the sugar will plain rot your teeth. Well, look at the customers-they don't have any teeth to begin with. It's a perfect match!"
But Pahntz's optimism is the only source of hope for the restaurant as Brown students, the Créperie's main source of income, have snubbed their nose, laughed, or looked on in fear at the establishment's accidental name change. The neo-hobos beget an air of roughness that just isn't consistent with the typical Ivy League atmosphere.
"They kind of freak me out," says Jemma Feinstein, '09. "Plus, I'm pretty sure they pay using the barter system. I mean, how can you generate profit when all a guy has is three beer bottle caps and a piece of lint in his pocket?"
"That is true," Magee concedes. "Last week, One-Legged Jim tried to use his ol' prosthetic to pay for a stack of Nutella Waffles. 'Nutella's worth its weight in gold,' I said, 'but you'd need to be No-Legged Jim to pay for your breakfast, sir.'"
While the Créperie continues to sell delicious pastry-like substances, many wonder: does the name change have to do with the new Rhode Island legislation that is finally making indoor prostitution illegal? Is this the last refuge for those who frequent "sensual massage parlors" in Downtown Providence? Though the restaurant seems legitimate in its selling of fruit-filled delights, citizens can only wonder if the loss of the "C" denotes the latent evils hidden down the alley, to the left.
