The campus-wide panic has begun. Students with a slight cough stay in their rooms all day and refuse to leave. Guys at frat parties ask a girl if she's feeling congested before hooking up with her. Students who never leave their rooms continue to play video games and eat Cheetos, unconcerned.
Scientists everywhere held their breath giddily, gasped, and defeatedly slouched in their ergonomic swivel chairs last Friday, as an Unstoppable Force narrowly whisked past an Immovable Object somewhere near Oklahoma City. Like Haley's Comet or a Pixar movie, the much anticipated encounter of Force and Object was projected to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
