Begrudgingly pulling out their wallets, annoyed sources report that Brown Uni- versity a capella group Bearly Harmonic is under the impression that tickets to their upcoming show have monetary value.
“Hey there, are you interested in attending the a capella show of the semester for just $5?” called member Sammy Garth from across the Main Green, utterly convinced that passersby would pay to listen to poorly arranged hip hop covers. “Bring a friend, too!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your money’s worth,” added Garth, referring to audience members’ chance to hear one-and-a-half hours of amateur singing accompanied by one aggressive beatboxer. “We’ve been practicing a lot for this one!”
“If you want, we can give you a little preview right now, but you’ll need a ticket to hear the whole thing,” said Garth, blissfully unaware that he is selling a product which appeals to zero potential customers. “1, 2, 3, 4...”
At press time, a student improv show’s “suggested donation” was set very generously.

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