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The Brown Noser

AI May Take My Job, But It Will Never Take My Virginity by Computer Science Concentrator

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

I have dedicated my time, energy, happiness, health, and life to learn computer science for the promise of lucrative employment. And AI just took it away with zero shame. So no way in hell will I let it take my virginity too. There is little I am certain of in this life, the vile nature of AI that shattered my existence made me well aware of that. But there is one thing I know for sure. I will never, never let that machine learning software softly caress my naked body and whisper sweet nothings of affection as it deflowers me. Because it will never deflower me at all. Because I will never give it that satisfaction. I know you may call me a prude because I wouldn’t give out for that algorithm, but my virginity is the last vestal of my life that has not been ripped away from my being, chewed out and spat on the ground like a piece of rotten meat by that concept of a field in computer science of data-driven analytics. In years of cultivating, my virginity has developed in richness just like an aging wine. It has become such a precious aspect of my identity, so don’t think for a second I would give it away to any monstrous deep learning programs. At least not tonight.

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