Partly Cloudy, 64°
In a campus-wide statement issued last week, University administrators announced their plan to end legacy admissions right after all their kids get accepted to Brown.
“Brown is committed to leveling the playing field in its admissions process,” said Dean of Admissions Logan Powell, balancing student calls to end legacy admissions with the reality that lots of administrators have children. “And right after Russell Carey’s kids enroll, we plan to do just that.”
“Our admissions office will no longer consider whether an applicant’s parents graduated from Brown,” Powell continued, explaining the college’s decision to shift to a more equitable way to select its undergraduates after all administrators’ kids are college aged. “Unless, of course, any of those parents run the school, in which case we may have to delay the policy.”
“We plan to implement legacy-free admissions as soon as possible,” Powell added. “Oh, but Dean Zia just had a kid, so we might have to push that back a few years. How’s 2040 sound?”
At press time, Brown’s administration postponed their new policy until right after their grandkids get into Brown.
