Partly Cloudy, 64°
Saying that they were really “going all-in” when they admitted the 17-year-old Miami native, Brown University Dean of Admissions James Miller confirmed the Admission Office was “taking one hell of a swing” on Lance Geller. “The stars who burn brightest sometimes fizzle out, and based on his essay Lance could be a supernova,” said Miller, pointing out that Geller's applicant profile led them to believe he might be the type of student to become UCS President, but noting that this by no means doomed Geller to contribute to the undergrad community in an entirely vapid and ultimately meaningless way. “I guess we’ll see. He’ll be ResLife’s problem if he ends up cycling through three roommates in a semester like Marsha thinks he might.” Geller reportedly had a good time at ADOCH, where he vomited after drinking three cans of Miller Lite in the Mo-Champ basement and added a girl on Facebook whom he’d tell his friends at home he slept with.
