Partly Cloudy, 64°
Reports from local mother Cecily Latham suggest her new air fryer is clearly not up to the task of cooking a coq au vin for her family of four.
“I thought by using my air fryer to cook meals for my family, I could reduce my time spent in the kitchen,” Latham explained, desperately trying to force four servings worth of chicken into the air fryer’s flimsy, six-inch plastic basket. “Instead, I’ve spent countless hours tinkering with the air fryer to try to get it to prepare a meal that would, in retrospect, be much easier to cook in a conventional oven.”
“It’s my great-grandma’s recipe, and it’s been passed down through my family for generations,” Latham added, not acknowledging that coq au vin requires a culinary acumen that cannot be delegated to a simple kitchen appliance like an air fryer. “But for some reason I struggled to get the air fryer tray to slide back in with the five-pound raw chicken carcass in it."
“I’ve used my air fryer to make tater tots and Brussels sprouts, so I figured I could start using it to make more gourmet meals,” Latham continued, as the air fryer began beeping violently and smoking. “But I guess coq au vin is an entirely different kind of recipe, with a variety of ingredients and a constant attendance to things like temperature and moisture.”
At press time, Latham’s toaster oven was unsurprisingly incapable of baking an entire loaf of ciabatta.
