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Sources are reporting that local man Cliff Vargas’ daily conversations consist entirely of small talk.
Vargas, who has few strong opinions and no close friends with whom he would express them even if he did, speaks exclusively about the boring topics that fill his daily routine, such as the weather and how difficult his job has been recently.
“Yeah, I’m doing pretty well, got a lot of work right now, so yeesh, that’s a bummer,” said Vargas in one of his many conversations which have never extended past the level of banal meaningless exchange.
“Did you watch the Packers game last night?” Vargas asked a distant acquaintance who he thinks of as a close friend. “Aaron Rogers really wasn’t on his game.”
Though a recent conversation between Vargas and a deli counter employee appeared to be on the verge of becoming interesting, those hopes melted away when Vargas began talking about why he prefers pastrami to salami.
“It’s just a better flavor, you know?” said Vargas while avoiding eye contact with the employee. “It’s like a texture thing.”
When reached for comment, Vargas told reporters that he had to head out but that he would love to grab lunch some time soon.
