Partly Cloudy, 64°
Amnesic man David Kron of Los Angeles reported yesterday that his full-body tattoos of slimy green lizard scales have done absolutely nothing to help him reconstruct his memory and avenge his wife’s death.
“The tattoos look cool, huh?” asked Kron as he displayed the scales on his forearm, shaded to look as though they are shimmering. “Unfortunately, I don’t think they’re a clue. Just aesthetics.”
The same disorder that prevents Kron from recalling the circumstances of his own attack and his wife’s murder leaves him unable to recall the origin of his estimated $950-worth of lizard skin tattoos. “I definitely didn’t have these (tattoos) before my wife’s death,” he said. “But to construe them as some kind of note-to-self to help me track down the man who killed her would really be stretching it.”
Kron also sports a bifurcated tongue and small metal implants on his forehead that resemble lizard’s jutting brow, neither of which are at all relevant to his tragic past. “When I woke up this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought—as I’m sure I do most mornings—okay, this has to mean something,” said Kron. “But it doesn’t. I was just following some weird impulse, I guess.”
Kron added that his job appearing as The Lizardman at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum in Hollywood is the only aspect of his post-amnesia transformation that does make sense to him. “It’s fun being in the spotlight,” he said. “And the pay is good.”
