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The Brown Noser

Animated Conversation With Worker At COVID Testing Site Definitive Proof You Actually Friendly Person

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

According to a new study, having just one animated conversation with a worker at one of Brown University’s COVID-19 testing sites is definitive proof that you are a friendly person after all.

“These events are not flukes,” reported head researcher Dr. Bernardo Polardo, raising the hopes of cold, aloof people everywhere. “If you find yourself being uncharacteristically friendly at one of the testing sites, it is most definitely safe to assume that that reveals something larger about your personality.”

“Do not be discouraged if you frequently avoid eye contact with people you know or often have trouble smiling at service workers,” added Dr. Polardo, emphasizing how your day-to-day habits indicate nothing about your personality as a whole, while this singular behavior does. “Those types of events do not have a high correlation with personality metrics. This COVID site phenomenon though? It definitely does.”

At press time, you weren’t sure if one of your favorite test site workers remembered you, but you were excited to see them nonetheless.

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