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The Brown Noser

Annoying Student Keeps Coughing Up Blood During Final

Published Friday, December 7th, 2018

According to fellow classmates, an annoying student kept coughing up blood during yesterday afternoon’s final exam.

“We were about an hour in and some guy in the front row started emphatically wheezing and spitting out blood which was super distracting,” said sophomore Jane Fung, who couldn’t focus on the test because of the anonymous student’s violent convulsions and dry-heaves. “Then EMS showed up at the exact moment when I really needed to concentrate. God, it was so irritating.”

Students audibly groaned at seeing the sick student loudly struggle for life as he was rolled out on the stretcher.

“We get that he’s sick but hasn’t he heard of cough drops or Advil?" wondered Fung, as the EMTs desperately tried to resuscitate the student. "Talk about inconsiderate.”

To make matters worse, as of press time, the student’s watch had started beeping.

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