Partly Cloudy, 64°
Attendees at the Haffenreffer Museum’s annual symposium have noted that most of the lectures have been about how living in caves must’ve sucked.
“Wow, our paleolithic ancestors lived pretty exciting lives,” noted audience member Portia Reiss, reflecting on how annoying it must’ve been to start fires by rubbing twigs together. “But, I mean, holy shit, sleeping on the ground every night? Can you imagine?”
Reiss also recounted listening to one fascinating lecture on how the humans of prehistory spent their days forging robust stone tools, practicing complex religious rites, and dealing with the shitty fact that caves are damp and have no doors.
“It’s astonishing how in many ways pre-agricultural societies are so similar to our modern ones,” Reiss continued, surveying a pamphlet about how caveman clothes look super itchy. “Still, it sounds drab as hell. No wonder they spent most of their time doodling on the walls.”
At press time, the symposium’s keynote speaker was presenting on how hunting and gathering sounds like so much fucking work.
