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Recent reports from the home of arachnophobic teenager Josh Hutchinson suggest that he has a complicated and sometimes strained relationship with his father, Tslskksk, an over-sized Goliath Tarantula.
“It feels like he doesn’t understand me,” said Hutchinson, who enjoys skateboarding and eating out with friends. “He really pressures me to get good grades, and even though he means well, he can be hard on me sometimes.”
“I’m also paralyzed by an overwhelming, biologically motivated fear of the entirety of his species,” he added.
Josh, who describes being literally petrified by his father’s very image, says that pressure at home makes it difficult for him to lead a productive and normal life.
“I mean, I love my dad—he’s my dad,” the teen said. “It’s just when I’m around him I get tunnel vision and my chest tightens and I can’t really breathe.”
“I guess that’s just growing up, though,” he added.
Josh’s father reportedly attributes his son’s troubles to tension he believes is normal between volatile adolescents and their parents.
“Tssssskskskkkskksssskklllklkkksksk,” his father remarked.
“I know what he’s saying,” Josh said. “Obviously I want us to have a normal relationship, but he doesn’t see that anything is wrong. I can’t talk to him if he keeps being so stubborn, and if I keep vomiting and passing out due to crippling anxiety whenever we’re in the same room.”
“It’s hard for me at home, but we’re working through it as a family,” Josh added. “For now, a day without conflict and without psychogenic shock is a good day.”
At press time, Tslskksk had knocked on Josh’s bedroom door to call him down to dinner, responding to which, Josh politely said he’d be right there, began to cry and immediately soiled himself.
