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After decades of field work and intensive research, archaeologists at Cambridge University announced that they believe early man may have lived entirely encased in dirt.
The study, published in Nature after extensive peer-review, postulates that the reason we keep on finding early human fossils and artifacts in the dirt is because that’s where they lived.
“Where do we find ancient humans?” the paper asks. “In the dirt, that’s where. Therefore, it stands to reason that they lived completely encased in dirt.”
The article goes on to say that early man must have lived horizontally, lying flat on his back, as the vast majority of skeletons are found this way. But then again, early man may have actually lived on his belly, but then just rolled onto his back after he died. Further research will be conducted in order to determine which of the two possibilities is correct.
The paper concludes by describing what this groundbreaking new discovery reveals about how early man differed in appearance from modern humans. “It seems that early man had legs and arms that were made of lots of little white pointy poles that fit together," the authors note. "Also, he had a scary face that was filled with holes, and had no soft parts whatsoever.” Archaeologists speculate the scary face might have assisted in hunting and warding off predators.
On the heels of this groundbreaking discovery, University archaeologists recently announced plans to investigate how early humans managed to see with all that dirt in their face and also without having eyes or a brain.
