Wednesday, April 14, 2021
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The Brown Noser

Area Man Bashes Vinyls Into Wall With Super Glue And Nail Gun To Show He Likes Them

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

In an attempt to fully convey his affinity for Lauryn Hill and Fleetwood Mac, area man Jeremy Fogel bashed some of his vinyls into his wall with super glue and a nail gun.

“Music has always been a transformational tool in my life,” Fogel explained as he lathered a paint brush of super glue onto the back of a vinyl. “Which is why I think these records would go perfect right above my bed, if I can just find enough glue. It’s like a little piece of me on the wall.”

“These vinyls are some of my most prized possessions,” Fogel continued, drilling an extra hole into each record so that he could support them with two nails. “When I saw that the thrift store downtown was selling them, I just knew it was fate calling me. I’m also turning some of them into decorative plates!”

“Sure, I might not own a record player,” Fogel said, removing a wad of gum from his mouth and using it to stick remaining vinyls onto the wall. “But why would I need one when all these songs are already on Spotify?”

At press time, Fogel was seen tearing pages out of his favorite books to use as additional wall decor.

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