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Calling it a particularly nasty case, area man Peter Bilkmore told reporters that he awoke today to find his apartment had been badly infested by multiplatinum-selling hard rock band Papa Roach. “Around 5 a.m. I heard what sounded like early 2000s rap-rock coming from the basement,” remarked Bilkmore as he put in earplugs to block out the noisy swarm of alt-rockers below him. “When I went to go investigate, my fears were confirmed: it was a pretty serious Papa Roach infestation. Since then, I’ve been forced to listen to their hit song ‘Last Resort,’ along with other cuts from their best-selling album lovehatetragedy, for over seven hours. Thankfully, the exterminator should be here soon to spray the bastards to death, but, man, there are few worse things to wake up to.” At press time, the exterminator was forced to evacuate the house, as the Papa Roach infestation had reportedly grown into a full-blown Vans Warped Tour hive.
