Sources report that area man Simon Byrne is feeling like a sex machine after putting on his roommate Jeff ’s cologne.
“Man, I feel like I’m exuding pheromones right now!” Byrne declared after spraying some of Jeff’s Chanel Eau d’Homme on every surface of his body. “If I wear this to the party tonight, I will one hundred percent get laid.”
“No wonder Jeff is such a womanizer,” Byrne added, taking in an extra whiff of the musky teakwood scent to bolster his confidence. “Ooh, I’m gonna break some hearts tonight. And some backs!”
At press time, Byrne was feeling like a brilliant scientist after putting on his blue-light glasses.

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