Saturday, April 4, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Area Man Just Gonna Clean Up Spill With Sock

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Glancing around in search of a napkin, area man Dave Whitman reportedly decided he’s just gonna clean up a recent spill with his sock. “I mean, I can’t just leave this Sprite puddle sitting on the coffee table like an animal,” Whitman said, removing his left sock to sop up the liquid before it could start dripping onto the rug. “I’m all out of paper towels, but at least socks are pretty absorbent. What else am I supposed to do?” At press time, Whitman was using his jeans to clean Cheeto dust off his fingers.

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