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Claiming that he was finally turning over a new leaf, area man Nathan Enriquez announced triumphantly last Thursday that he’s no longer pretending he’s not pretending to be something he’s not.
“I used to pretend that I wasn’t pretending to be something I’m not. But I took a long hard look at myself, and decided to just stop pretending that I wasn’t pretending. I am pretending to be something I’m not,” Enriquez admitted bravely.
Enriquez added that he was tired of living a lie about not living a lie, and was happy to finally have a normal life that is all a complete lie based entirely on fiction. “Instead of kidding myself about it, I finally get to openly be a regular, everyday human being living a total farce. Phew!”
Sources report that since his gallant turnaround, Enriquez is now completely open about faking happiness in many aspects of his life, including his job and in his 11-year marriage. “It’s a sham, all right. Total facade. I am fully feigning this contentment at work and at home.”
“Pretending to not pretend can be so exhausting!” Enriquez said courageously, “I’m glad I can finally just pretend. Openly. For pretend.”
