Friday, November 16, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Area Man Thinks It’s Probably Time To Wash Towel

Published Friday, October 26th, 2018

Local man Steve Buckley has definitely lost track of the last time he washed his towel, sources report. “I only have one towel so I can’t just throw it into the machine whenever I want, you know what I mean?” commented Buckley, considering the limp, suspiciously pigmented piece of fabric hanging on the back of his door. "I use this towel almost everyday so it’s probably pretty gross at this point. But I also just don’t understand why there’s all this pressure to wash something that I use to delicately dry my body after I’m already clean, you know?” Ultimately, however, after Buckley felt the gnarly frays of his damp towel, he concluded that “it’s probably time to throw this bad boy into the wash once and for all.”

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