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The Brown Noser

Area Man Uses Venmo to See All Fun Things His Friends Didn’t Invite Him To

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

Browsing his Venmo feed on Sunday night, Drew Malady ‘17 discovered several cool events that he wasn’t invited to. “Huh, Jack told me he had too much homework this week to hang out. But Venmo says he paid back Dave and Ronny for drinks last Wednesday? Weird, they didn’t shoot me a text,” mumbled Malady, as he paused his landlord’s rent payment and perused the rest of Jack’s recent transactions. “Jack paid Mark for maple syrup, hiking trail entry, and ‘Green Mountain Brewskies.’ I guess they finally went to Vermont? Jack mentioned it to me last year, but he never followed through.” At press time, Malady created a Foursquare account to see what businesses his friends frequent without him.

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