According to recent Instagram sources, area woman Jess Neeky just posted a sultry selfie watered down by several lukewarm photos she picked randomly from her camera roll. “In truth, I just wanted people to think I had accidentally dropped it in there,” said Neeky in a low whisper like some kind of secret agent. “The post was really more about the other pictures I had put in there, though,” she lied. “I hope everyone enjoyed that photo I added of that open window with the shades blowing in the wind. I just don’t want people to think I’m trying too hard.” At press time, everyone thought Neeky was trying too hard.

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