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According to various sources, Boston resident Rachel Pierce is currently in a committed, long-term relationship with the mature, emotionally intelligent adult her boyfriend Bobby will never become.
“Rachel is so happy dating the responsible grown-up Bobby definitely won’t turn into,” said a friend close to the couple. “She and the productive member of society Bobby is not and cannot become are so in love.”
Those close to Rachel report that she often thinks about moving in with the bright, capable person Bobby will simply never, ever be and is reportedly thrilled by the misguided assumption that Bobby will eventually be able to afford a house where they can raise children together.
“I haven’t told him this, but I think the accomplished, socially competent man Bobby could never in a million years grow into will be a great father,” Rachel said. “I only hope the caring person you’d have to be an idiot to think Bobby is feels the same way about me.”
At press time, Rachel expressed hope that Bobby might soon propose to her, so that she can begin her life with the intelligent, strong-willed husband Bobby has the potential to become when hell freezes over.
