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The Brown Noser

Author of Source Carrying Your 200-Page Thesis Actually Didn't Mean That At All

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Sources report that Jillian Glieberman, the author of the source carrying your 200-page thesis, actually didn’t mean that at all.

“Yeah, when you said that I used rabbits as a motif for happiness in the book, you were way off,” said Glieberman, completely undercutting the core of the thesis you spent an entire year writing. “Actually, the rabbits aren’t any kind of metaphor at all—they’re just bunnies, man.”

“Later, you made some claim that Lorelai’s relationship with Mr. Hunter in the novel was a clear microcosm for the rivalry between Trotsky and Lenin,” Glieberman said, confused about why you spent 200 pages rambling about made-up connections that she didn’t intend at all. “It really wasn’t that deep. Like at all.”

At press time, the cute barista that you told all your friends about actually wasn’t flirting with you at all.

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